Abigail’s Day

The Dog Days

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Well, it’s that time again. Time for me to start cursing the week long stretches of 100 degree weather and start longingly looking at the autumn decorations that have taken up residence in my local Target. They are really just taunting me because I know full well that the summer weather will be here through the end of September and very likely into October. BUT the weather here in Texas cannot stop me from getting those lovely “change of season” feelings that only aisles of new school stuff can supply ( pun. intended). We’ve only got two more weeks of “Summer” before the new year begins.

I honestly can’t believe it! I can’t believe that our first “real” summer ( which to me, means that you’ve “earned it” because you went to 5 days of school all year long-which Ransom most certainly did!) is almost at a close! It really was a good one and I’m going to take a minute tonight to review it so one day I can look back at what a summer with a 6 year old, 4 year old and 19-21 month old looked like.

The biggest winner in regards to this summer was definitely that my children are getting a little older… I truly truly could not be happier with how things are “going” in regards to my children growing up! It is TRULY the BEST! Babies are cute and all, but little kids?!?! So much better…..Also, sometime in May I had a lovely little correspondence ( as in REAL LIVE LETTERS) with a lovely lady who’s son had just gone through his first year in college. It was a fun little juxtaposition- our two firsts- mine of kindergarten and hers of college- and I felt like I gained much from her thoughts. One thing I took into my summer was how she had wished she’d had more of the simple pleasures with her son and so this summer I practiced saying “Yes” a lot more. Of course, I feel like that as my kids grow up, I CAN say yes more! So, it really was perfect timing for this little reminder.

I said “YES” to staying up late….to READ. This summer we have read almost all of the Little House on the Prairie series and these quiet summer nights have been pretty much everyone in the family’s favorite thing! No rushing around to get to bed right on time, just a lot more “just one more chapter.”

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I said “YES” to going to the pool. Now that Ransom is officially a swimmer, Tabitha can officially stand up in the shallow end, and Justice can officially fit his juicy little arms in a Puddle Jumper, I am feeling a lot more relaxed about going to the pool. Thanks to my Always Packed Pool Bag* sitting by the back door and my Always Full Snack Bin*  sitting nearby ( this is important because Justice feels that he must eat at least 4 snacks while at the pool or he hasn’t truly lived), I have a trip to the pool down to a 10 minute art. Of course, I have to gear myself up for the baths and then wet towels when we get back home again, but for me the pool will always be a happy place, and I’m glad my children are making good memories there too!

I said “YES” to weekend trips. This may seem like a no-brainer…summer is for travel, right? But this summer we were actually a little tight in the budget area, due to our splurge of  an Anniversary Trip and also due to some unforeseen job issues for Brett ( *spoiler alert* he’s got a great job, working in the same office that he has been for the last few years and we are so thankful!) – HOWEVER, I worked hard at not looking at what we did not have and instead I tried my best to work with what we did and we ended up with some wonderful little trips that probably equaled more fun for my kids than a full on family vacation would have! ( see: hotel breakfasts, time with cousins and new adventures and friends)

I said “YES” to spontaneous adventures. This one was super hard for me. Anyone who knows me, knows I am the least spontaneous person in the world. I love me a good plan and a good check list. But this summer, we jumped in the car and visited close-to-us adventure places that I had never considered before and we had an absolute BLAST each time! Which brings me to….

I said “YES” to missing naps. This is mostly because Justice is an easy baby-something I haven’t had a ton of- but I’m loooooving it now that I have it! And he’s also getting older. Hey, Moms who have babies, don’t worry! It WILL eventually END! I PROMISE. There is a light at the end of that very dark tunnel! Anyway, Justice missed countless naps this summer, or he had incredibly late naps in his carseat- and, guess what?! He is NO WORSE FOR WEAR! Hallelujah!

I said “YES” to popsicles. This is mostly because Justice became OBSESSED with them and asks for one MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY ( don’t worry, I only cave once a day), but also because this was part of my philosophy that my kids need to be kids and have some fun in the summer. I’ll let you know if this effects their dental report in October. EEK! But until then, no regrets.

I said “YES” to not having my children. Obviously for Brett and my trip to San Francisco which was ah-mazing, but also my parents have been asking to have a “just Tabitha” trip for a while now and I finally said yes to that this summer. Tabitha was away from us for 4 days and while it was hard, it was really amazing how much extra capacity I had to play and spend time with my boys. It was also cute to see their relationship change and deepen a little bit ( Ransom chose to sleep in Justice’s room while Tabitha was gone and my two little morning people were so cute it almost made my cold-hearted-night-person self melt). And as always, getting your kids back after any length of time separated is such a wonderful gift in gratitude.

I said “YES” to some screen time. I only say this because at the end of the school year there were articles circulating my social media feed like crazy about how screens were going to literally KILL MY CHILDREN. I, of course, took heed and immediately made plans to bane all screen time from our lives for the whole summer. I started to feel guilty for any and all time my kids spent watching a show…. But then I started to look around- EVERY. WHERE. WE. WENT. this summer there were kids looking down at iPads, iPhones, kindles and whatever else….head down at the splash pad, head down at the grocery store, head down at the museum, head down, head down….it was scary. We were even outside riding bikes early one Sunday morning and someone stopped on their morning walk to comment that our kids weren’t playing video games….considering what I’ve seen this summer, I would have noticed too! That said, it made me realize that the 40 minutes ( one 20 minutes show per older child) was not going to kill us in the morning. In fact, it was going to allow me to read my Bible in peace. This way I can pray for the coming generation…because seriously, who is going to be friends with all our kids when they want to have a conversation or they want to look around?!?! 

 

So there you have it!!! I said yes a lot more this summer and I said “no” a few hundred million times too! So don’t worry 😉 In fact, with some sicknesses and job worries plus working hard to get my book published this fall-there were times I really felt like I was “failing” this summer! But there is NOTHING quite like taking a look back and giving yourself a back pat what you did accomplish and forgiving yourself for what you didn’t.

Personally, I can hardly WAIT for fall….cooler weather, a new fresh start with school years, aaaaaannnnnnnnd my BOOK RELEASE!!!! Watch this spot! Announcements coming super soon….

 

 

 

*  Packing your pool bag packed and getting a bin of snacks ready are two things that make summer possible in our house. I recommend you join in on this little trick and there are plenty of awesome mommy bloggers who have written posts about this very thing! Go find them and tag them for next summer if you haven’t already!

Second Honeymoon time

 

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Friends! It’s Friday! But its not just any Friday, oooooh nooooo, it’s also the “ONE MORE DAY”  in Ransom’s count down towards our family’s combo excitement over “Mommy and Daddy’s Second Honeymoon” and the “We’re getting spoiled by grandparents for days and days without interference” events of next week.

That’s right, as a celebratory nod to being married for ten whole years, Brett and I are headed out on a second honeymoon. A concept introduced to us by The Berenstein Bears and the Week at Grandma’s but very much supported by our whole family.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m most excited about, the fact that Brett and my wonderful parents agreed to watch our kids for three days each so that we ( mostly me) wouldn’t have to feel bad about placing a largish burden for watching three kids for a super long time on anyone in particular ( this is a big deal. Mom guilt is alive and well for me unfortunately)….or the fact that Brett and I are going to the San Francisco area where the projected highs for next week are in the LOW SIXTIES….or that we’ll get to sleep in for days and days in a row…..or that NO ONE is going to interrupt me and ask me to make them a snack for SIX WHOLE DAYS. Seriously so many things to be excited about.

Brett and I, when planning this trip knew that all we really wanted was to have a beach we could sit on, drink coffee and read to our hearts content, a new place to explore ( preferably somewhere neither of us had been before), and lower temperatures then what we’re use to in Texas in the summer! We’re excited about our AirBNB that we found right off the beach in Pacifica, CA and the chance to explore San Francisco a little bit, but also hopefully spend some time exploring some of the other towns along the coast too. Any recommendations from you, my friends?! We’d love to hear about any food we have to eat, sights we have to see and or particular times of day you think we should try taking a nap. Just kidding on the last one, we already know the answer to that…

 

 

Ransom gets baptized

I was preparing for church the other night and Ransom came up to me and said that he was starting to feel bad about not being baptized. I asked him why and he said that every time he saw a baptism it made him feel worse that he himself hadn’t been baptized yet.

You’re suppose to get baptized!!  He said, emphatically.

Poor guy.

About 6 or so months ago he told me that he wanted to be baptized after seeing someone else be baptized… but it wasn’t until recently that we felt he really understood what baptism really was and that he had in fact made the commitment to Jesus… but apparently 6 months was an extra long time to have to wait when you had to watch people like your own cousins get baptized.

But here we were at the end of an evening and Ransom had answered all my questions to my satisfaction and he was now practically begging us to let him get baptized in our bathtub that very minute.

It took a bit of work but we convinced him it might be nice to allow our Wednesday house church to be a part of the celebration. And after thinking on that, he did remember that Cate ( aged 2) would be there and she, “Probably hasn’t seen someone be baptized yet.” so as part of his due diligence he waited two more whole days.

It was one of those parenting things I wasn’t expecting, this whole “wanting to be baptized” things. I guess I was hoping that once they were saved they’d become angels and would no longer need discipline and it would be REALLY CLEAR that it was time for this part in the Christian faith. But as the parent of a child who occasionally disobeys and lies about his chores you start to wonder if they’re really saved?!  Do they really understand?! ( of course, that’s also what my family thought about me all through junior high and high school…and maybe even now sometimes. eek!)

Of course, this was the kid who also diligently prayed for his teacher and classmates on a daily basis and often asks Brett and I if we’ve thought to tell that person about Jesus yet! He also shared with several classmates this year:

“I asked C if she knew Jesus today at lunch.”

“What did she say?”

“She said she did.”

“So what did you say then?”

“My mouth was full.”

 

Or the time he told me he could no longer share about Jesus in school….

Me: Why do you say that?!

Ransom: Because yesterday on the way to the library, I yelled out “Hey! Do you guys know about Jesus?!” and then Mrs. G said I shouldn’t talk in the hall….

hahaha!

All in all, in the midst of his 6-year-oldness, his heart has become tender to his own sin and need for Jesus and a growing love for others and concern for others that is a blessing to watch.

I feel truly blessed to be Ransom’s mother and we continue to beg the Lord to continue working in his heart and life.

If you’re interested here is Ransom’s baptism:

 

As well as his unrehearsed Q &A before the baptism ( maybe not the best idea when dealing with 6 year olds! hahaha!)

 

Also, here is the link to the story we used in teaching our kids about Baptism as part of our No Place Left: Kids church plan! You’ll also find links to the study guide and other stories you can share with kids. The latest is “How to Share your story” 

A little share sesh

 

Hey hey friends! I hope you all had a great Mother’s Day weekend celebrating the mothers in your life. We headed to our home town to observe our nephews being baptized. It was the sweetest. Does anyone else love a good baptism?!? There really is nothing better! Also, if you’re a follower of Jesus and you haven’t been baptized…WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?! Let’s do this!! I definitely want to talk to you personally about what might be holding you back…

To hear my nephews David (9 yo) and Levi ( 12 yo) share a little of their testimony watch the video below….bonus Justice cameo at the end.

In other news, I’ve been struggling with some lovely health stuff this week making me move just a little slower, but that’s meant that I’ve listened to a few really good podcasts and dug out some old songs that are dear to my heart.

This little biography of the missionary Amy Carmichael was great-but the BEST part was when the guy talked about what a strong willed child Amy was…rise your hand if that’s helpful perspective with your own kids….just me?! Surely not! haha!  Incidentally, this is the first of a whole series on missionaries and giants in the christian faith- you might have to sign in to listen to the Amy Carmichael archived podcast, but its worth it! Then stay a while and listen to some of the other great little bios! My kids and I have really been enjoying this series a lot!

 

Also, if you haven’t already subscribed to the Glorious in the Mundane podcast from Christy Nockels, you really HAVE TO DO IT! The latest left me in the tears on my bedroom floor ( ok, I was actually already laying on the bedroom floor *see previous health issue above*…but still….so good!) . Listen to it!! 

 

Then today I pulled on my dusty Shane and Shane CD “Carry Away”  so many of these songs do my heart so much good. Yearn, Be Near….They are so good….but Beauty for Ashes is my absolutely favorite, favorite. Its a on repeat type of song, people.

 

 

 

Now, one last thing before I go…last week I did a little recon mission for my cover designer, to my local bookstore and took notice of book covers. Now we know we aren’t suppose to judge a book by its cover! But, WE ALL DO!!!! So I spent some time taking note of the book covers that popped out to me and then I took pictures of the ones that I not only noticed but the cover was such that I actually wanted to pick it up. Have you ever paid attention to the books you automatically pick up?! I’d love to hear the types of books that catch your eye! It doesn’t necessarily have to be something that you’d end up reading but I think it says something about us, don’t you? I think I may even do it with Brett on our next date night.  (Because you all know we end up at book stores half the time). Here are some of the covers that I liked. *spoiler alert* turns out I like very simple covers where the words are the focus. Go Figure.

 

Book news

calendar-bannerIn the last month or so I’ve gotten a lot of “WHEN’S YOUR BOOK COMING OUT ALREADY?!” messages. Ok, so no one used all caps and no one yelled the question at me. But at this point, I interpret everything book related to ALL CAPS. I’m just that excited.

So, here are the long awaited deets for those of you wondering. My book, The Day Between: A Memoir of Miracles, is slatted to be released in paperback and Kindle  Fall 2017. 

The book is an account of our families journey with twin-to-twin transfusion. It is the story of my pregnancy with our daughters Priscilla and Tabitha, and all that we learned from our girls fight for survival. We saw miracles, we saw tears, we saw many many lessons from Jesus. I’ll be giving you the in-depth scoop on everything we learned in that season. I promise you will laugh ( unless you’re one of those un-funny people, in which case, I don’t know what I could do for you). I promise you will have at the very least the feeling of tears. But then I’ll try really hard to make you laugh immediately afterwards because crying always makes me uncomfortable because I come from a family that is uncomfortable with outward signs of emotion. I promise that you’ll come away with some good Biblical truths relating to grief and change and struggle and faith and hope and love and…wait, now I’m just quoting scripture.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. This book I believe will help so many who are struggling with the loss of a child or even just those recovering from a tragedy of any kind. In a lot of ways as we work get to the end of this publishing journey I can HARDLY WAIT to share some of the things the Lord taught me and that I’ve written in this book! I truly believe that it will be an encouragement and a help to many. I really hope that I’ll be able to do some speaking engagements in conjunction with my book release because as luck would have it, I’m continually learning more on these topics or inevitably I had to leave out some great little nuggets from this particular book that I still really want to share with some of you! GAAAAHHHH! I want you to read my book, already! This is like waiting for a surprise party!! I’m dying over here!

So, I’ll obviously be giving you more exact dates as I know more, but as of right now we’re very much on track. And you’ll have my book in your hot little hands in time for Christmas, in time for Thanksgiving, in time for you to drink a PSL while reading it. Well, maybe not the last one, the way Starbucks goes, they’ll be releasing pumpkin spiced lattes in September this year! That, said, hopefully by the end of the summer I’ll have some concrete dates for you to mark on your calendar! I’ll be booking speaking events and even a book launch so get excited! And if you want to be a part of all this fun stuff, message me and keep checking my book page for all the latest and greatest details.

 

Its FriYAY!

I can’t believe its Friday came around exceptionally fast this week. It’s probably because I’m dreading next week. Brett will be on night-shifts and if my accounts of previous night shifts give any forewarning of what we can expect…then it’ll be a doozy. And not in a good way… , I mean, it happens A LOT. 

OK, but since I’m preparing for the worst, maybe it won’t be so bad?! I mean, I’ve got all sorts of modern conveniences to help me… I mean, I’m still in.love. with Wal-Mart’s grocery pick up. I’ve been using it for over a year and I still get positively gitty every time I go and they load my groceries into the back of the car like I’m a princess or something ( because that’s the definition of princess-don’t you know) and according to my super nice Wal-Mart personal shopper they are adding hundreds of new locations across the country…so do a little double check to make sure you’re not missing out. AND if its you’re first time, get $10 off on me!  ( P.S. I also attribute me lowering our monthly grocery budget on this service, as well. It turns out I was buying a lot of things “off list” when I went grocery shopping and this service has helped with that in a huge way!)

But since I’m preparing for an epic week of something going terribly wrong, I’m considering giving Postmates a try as well…apparently they’ll deliver just about anything to my door including one of those ridiculously disgusting Unicorn Frapps that everyone is talking about…but only if I’m REALLY wanting to feel a strong sense of self-loathing.  I’m more likely to have them deliver allergy medicine for my kids or something epically boring. hashtag mom life. That said…if you could have anything delivered to your door, what would it be?!

I do have an extra $14 sitting in my pocket that I DEFINITELY could spend on just chipotle alone- thanks to selling some things on Poshmark. And now I’m continually adding random things from my closet! Its like having an ongoing and incredibly easy garage sale! It turns out its easy-peasy to print off the pre-paid labels slap it on a free box from the post office and ship off the item once they sell.  And once it’s delivered the money magically shows up in my account! I’m a super fan! And if you want to go ahead and purchase something ( not necessarily from me! haha!) than feel free to use this code UNIKJ to get a discount on your first order!

Alrightly!! I’m gonna bounce! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

 

Things of interest

Today, I’ve written several parts of several posts that I promise I will be sharing in the nearish future, but since I couldn’t hit publish quite yet I thought I would do a little “Things I’m into right now” post-which I haven’t done in a while….

 

Pause while I help my daughter problem solve on a blanket for one of her play mobile people….we went with a square of toliet paper. 

 

OK, where was I? Ah yes.

I own 2 crockpots, and a rice cooker do I REALLY need an Insta-Pot too?!? You’d think so if you were on social media for any length of time…I admit I’m starting to save my pennies.

There is a family of 7 walking the Appalachian Trail together to help heal the effects PTSD has had on their family. Their journey is happening right now, and they have faithfully posted every single day! I cannot look away from their journey and it hits so close to home since we know so many who suffer from PTSD.

 

So, I am waaaay late to the party, but lately I’ve found a lot of enjoyment listening to podcasts while I wash dishes, clean the house and when Im driving in the car to any number of child-related-activites.  My current favorite is Glorious in the Mundane ( Thanks, Miranda!) by Christy Nockels.

 

I’m currently in love with skirts with pockets. I picked up this one on Amazon  and its the softest thing ever!

 

I love my friend Renee’s blog all the time, but recently she posted a list of great graduation gifts and I had to confess that I wanted all the gifts for myself! Go check it out if you’re looking for a functional and fun gift for a friend or graduate ( or me…whatever.)

 

And have you seen the Kid’s Bible series I’ve been working on with our friend Chuck Wood?! I’d love your feedback!

Super Mom

IMG_3516You guys. I’m clearly the reason people are successful with their at-home-businesses. I am a SUCKER for poorly made stretchy pants ( *ahem* leggings) and I’m DYING to try that stuff that supposedly makes your eyelashes reach down to your cheek bones. Thankfully I am not made of money and therefore I withhold from trying every single product that slides through my social media feed. That said, last week I took a nap on a Wednesday. At 4:45 in the afternoon. When I should have been doing dinner prep. I just COULD NOT go another step. So when my sweet husband walked through the door after a long day at the office I handed him the baby ( not really, Justice was probably busy going through the recycle bin right about then) and ran to our bed for a few winks. I woke up feeling gross and also annoyed that I couldn’t even make it through a normal Wednesday without a nap.

So that evening, I remembered how I’d had several friends rave about these nutritional supplements from THRIVE^. I knew I probably couldn’t afford them, but I went on an internet research binge anyway and came across a lovely lady on Instagram who was giving way not 2, not 3 but SIX days worth of the supplement for free! Whaaaaa?!?! Now six days was definitely a long enough amount of time for this skeptic to know if something really works or not, so I sent her two frantic private messages and waited to see if I’d won one of her freebies! ( seriously, you guys should follow this chick on Social Media, she has a lot of opportunities to give these products a try and to me that’s invaluable). It was such a great opportunity to give these supplements a shot- the simplicity ( do this one thing in the morning and then be on your way) was appealing because while I KNEW that if I just ate better, made sure I was getting all my greens etc, not eating as much sugar etc etc. than I’d probably get all these benefits myself. But sometimes I forget to eat until 11am and then I’m so starving that I’ll eat a giant bag of goldfish out of desperation. Please tell me I am not the only one?!?!

IMG_3489So cut to this week….I waited to start my 6 days on Monday-probably the most intense of my weekdays- I had just come off of a weekend where Brett worked 12 hour shifts, which meant *I* had worked 24 hour shifts single parent style ( shout out to my single parents! You guys amaze me!) and I was now going into my day where I would be running two miles with a double stroller, doing grocery shopping for the week, doing laundry, preparing and packing up dinner, getting one kid ready for ballet and the other ready for soccer and then heading off to ballet, picnic dinner at the park ( read: run after kids begging them to eat in between jungle gym sessions), and soccer practice ( read: chasing after the other two kids so they wouldn’t run into the middle of practice)…also all of this was without Brett. He was working late.

I’m telling you all of this so that you know what my days are like. Sure, Mondays are particularly rough with after school activities, but tuesday-friday aren’t much different. So when Thursday came along and I was chasing my kids around the house in a superhero mask at 7pm at night, after a very long day of various parenting and such obligations, I KNEW that these supplements worked.

But here are the stats. Thanks to my Apple Watch I have very real numbers that show I had more energy and felt better this past week. On average I burned about 150 more calories a day. I guess that isn’t THAT much, but when you’re trying to lose a few pounds. That essentially means at least a pound of loss a week, without changing anything else!

But the REAL kicker came when I looked at my “active” time. My watch some how ( don’t ask me how, its apple magic) figures out how many minutes you are “active” during the day. The previous week I was “active” ( as in workout level) about 21 minutes in a day. This past week? 41 minutes a day!

That’s crazy! I seriously DOUBLED my active minutes without making any couscous effort other than taking my vitamin supplement pill, drinking my supplement shake* and sticking a little patch on my skin! WHAAAA!?!

But really the very best part was playing with my kids this week, I felt like I was much more involved with them, not zoned out on my phone on the couch because I was so tired and zapped of energy, but actively playing with them. I really, really loved that feeling.

So, like all these business models. If I can find 2 people who are willing to give these supplements a shot, then I will get it for freeeeeeeeee! I’m not gonna lie! I’m hoping one of you will find the idea of tons of extra energy and the peace of mind knowing your nutritional gaps are being filled, so appealing that you’ll want to try it for yourself! You can check out my website here and, don’t worry, I asked…signing up for the much cheaper “subscription” version so you can save money, is not signing your life away. there is a button to cancel said subscription right there if you immediately regret it. ( But you won’t!)– and I have a feeling if you try it, you can probably easily convince two of YOUR friends and family to do it too ( and get your OWN free supplements) because everyone wants more energy and better nutrition right?!?!

* I found the mix super nasty and sweet tasting, but adding just one drop of OnGuard essential oils and it was totally bearable.

^ This helpful review gave some insight into just WHAT I was putting into my body. Worth a read if you’re wondering….I personally was worried about the seemingly large amounts of “caffeine” that was probably in the green coffee bean extracts- BUT I can tell you I slept well every night this week! So guess it wasn’t that big of a deal because I’m SUUUUUPER sensitive to caffeine.

The time I got beat up by Beth Moore

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I make no apologies for my title, even though we all know its a gross exaggeration of what happened this past weekend at the LIT conference I attended with my friend Lindsay.

Instead let me just say you would think I’d gotten beat up considering how much I cried. Now, you ALL know that I am NOT a crier. So it was kind of disturbing to my stoic sensibilities just how much my eyes leaked during the worship time…Christy Nockels was such a blessing and I’ve currently got this song on repeat:

But I think the real tears came during the publishing breakout session. It was kind of then that it hit me just how much dying to self I’ve got ahead of me. I know, this probably seems really obvious to you reading this, I wish I was as wise as you! But let me just say, I thought I’d done my “laying down of self” way back when I decided to self-publish instead of trying to get a book deal with a major publisher. As I sat on the front row, with that major publisher standing over us, and she ever so bluntly laid out just how I had slammed the door on that possibility ( she clearly didn’t know she was being so personal!). For one thing, I’d written my entire book before pursuing  publication-something that she stood there saying, “no, no, no, no, no, NO!” about ( Friends, apparently you want to have the input from your major editor throughout your whole writing process!  That way your book is actually “marketable”. Don’t just sit at home, you and the Holy Spirit, and expect anyone to throw confetti when you get done writing!). I also don’t have thousands of followers on social media and therefore I don’t come to ANY table with a “following” that will most definitely buy my book. So yeah. I’m not really a contender.

I knew this.

I really did.

But, somehow having someone just a few feet away slamming the door and locking it was a little different. Later after I’d stopped crying. I was able to gather my thoughts and realize that my pride is still there. As much as I hate to admit it, I DO want thousands of people to read my book. I want people to find it out the shelves of their local, albeit struggling, book store and not just on Amazon.  I want the work I’ve been doing for years, the things that the Lord has laid on my heart to be shared… I want it to matter. I want it to make a difference on a large scale.

But the bottom-line is that this book is not mine. It was always His. From the beginning.

I must decrease and He must increase. This will have to be my choice ever single day. Because the world we live in, even the nice Christian world here in the West, tells us that “success” is measured by certain things. Certain things that I must not pursue.

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One of the main takeaways I got from Beth Moore’s sessions was Galatians 3:3…turns out it’s the perfect verse as I begin the task of taking my Editors edits*, and going through each one and making my choice of how to make my manuscript better:

How foolish can your be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your Own Human Efforts?

Oh Lord! Help me! That after all this time, of pursuing something the Lord laid on my heart…the story that He allowed us to live through so that I might share from it… that I would not now ruin it with my own human efforts! Whew! So convicting! SO SCARY!

So, I come away from this last weekend feeling a little beat up by my own pride, my own selfish desires. But I’m also excited. I’m excited because the Lord loved me enough to teach me this hard lesson now, and if I take heed to it than things will be so much better than if I struggled with my own deep seeded desires for a best seller. Instead, I will pray over my book each day, that it would find its way into the the right hands. That it would find its way to those hurting or those confused, that it would bring Hope and Life where there is none. If it can touch the heart of even one: That is better than a best seller made by human hands.

*My book is back from the editor! WHAAAAA!?!? Of course, now the real work begins! Going through, line by line, and making my book better with the editors suggestions and my own elbow grease. Its gonna be harder than I thought! But today in my quiet time the Lord gave me this verse:

I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.” (Is 29:14) 

A good conviction when I struggle with what I might think is the right way, but what might not be best for my message. Ugh! This is really like having a baby! These contractions are no fun!

 

Murphy is a jerk

img_2677This post is brought to you by an unplanned 30 minutes in the car when Justice fell asleep. This is not surprising since he allowed me about 3 hours of sleep last night and it’s not like he got much more than me… 

 

 

OK, but let’s talk about last night. Brett left for a work trip yesterday so I was not surprised that Justice chose last night to break his 1 month barf streak. Not one time but 4 times. I was not surprised that he threw up in his bed, my bed, his bed and then the extra bed in his bedroom, because 2 weeks ago when Brett was out of town for his grandmother’s funeral I nearly died of food poisoning. It should be noted that Justice almost died then too because I was so sick I would often not get to him until he was standing on a chair holding some sharp object. ( kidding, but only about the sharp object). Anyway,  the point is- WHY DOES THIS STUFF ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN YOU HAVE NO HELP?!

I know you don’t have the answer because Murphy’s Law has been haunting people for years but I just want to throw my own complaint onto the fire. I’d also like to say that just because I’m getting to “get away” this weekend…DOES NOT mean then universe should get back at me up until then! It’s just not cool. Not cool at all.