Carry a Big Stick

This was originally shared in my monthly newsletter, but wanted it somewhere a little more permanent. If you’d like early access to writings like these, feel free to subscribe to my newsletter here.

---

I felt like I wanted to give up. I said out loud to God in my car: “I can NOT do this anymore! You MUST send us ministry partners. I feel desperate.”

I decided it was good to feel that way. Sometimes it’s important to feel your need so much that you can taste it. I’d just watched an Army demonstration of a woman dragging 80 lb weights behind her on a rope for a super long distance (to me, anyway) and I decided it was the perfect picture of how I felt: 10 months of dragging some weights. It had all, seemingly, culminated in getting some disappointing news and I’d gone from me doggedly pulling those weights along, to feeling like I couldn’t take another step. 

After a week of fasting and praying I sat in the car with the same prayer on my lips, begging God for a breakthrough. I had a whole list of “suggestions” of ways he could change our situation here…but instead, His answer was clear. He sent me a song. Or a gentle reminder of sorts:

Is it just me or does everything feel different?
Like it’s darker somehow, like the light has had its moment
But like any good story there’s a moment when
The Light reveals where it’s always been
And the days we spent believing suddenly matter

So keep on shining and doing good
Even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve done
Even when no one’s looking
There’s a promise if you don’t give up
The time will come when your fields will ripen
With the morning sun
And the harvest that you reap will carry you
So keep on shining
Yes, keep on shining

I know what it’s like to be weary in the hidden
When you keep your head down
With the hopes you’re growing something
And maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve heard it
That there’s beauty in all this work you do
With the life of God in you
And oh how it matters

So keep on shining and doing good
Even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve done
Even when no one’s looking
There’s a promise if you don’t give up
The time will come when your fields will ripen
With the morning sun
And the harvest that you reap will carry you
So keep on shining
Yes, keep on shining

Oh it’s His life, oh it’s His love
Yea it’s His light shining in you
Like the aspen trees in a mountain breeze that’s you
And what a difference you are making
No it wouldn’t be the same without you
Like the sunset after a summer rain that’s you
Yea, it’s His life, His love and light in you

So keep on
Keep on shining and doing good
Even when it’s the hardest thing you’ve done
Even when no one’s looking
There’s a promise if you don’t give up
The time will come when your fields will ripen
With the morning sun
And the harvest that you reap will carry you
Yes, the harvest that you reap will carry you
So, keep on shining
Keep on shining

Keep on shining, ’cause it matters!

Of course, the Lord did not just leave it there. He had just that morning put the verse John 15:16 on my heart, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so you might go and bear fruit that will last.”  with my little desperate heart I had half complained, “Where is this fruit that will last?!?”

So here was my answer. Just Keep on. 

I immediately felt lighter, but the Lord knows that His voice starts to fade as the reality of “keeping on” starts to hit so in his great humor and mercy he decided to send me on a 6-mile hike. 

That’s right. 6 miles with a 1,692 ft elevation gain. Which for those of you who don’t know, means it went basically STRAIGHT UP a mountain. Now, I am definitely down for a “long walk”  and 6 miles is long and this was also UP.

So, I started to feel that elevation and my lack of fitness pretty quickly. Pretty soon I was panting and wondering how in the world I was going to get through this hike! I couldn’t give up! There were 14 other people doing it with me 10 of which were children and the peer pressure alone meant I was either going to finish or die trying.  So of COURSE I started to ask the Good Lord to take me home to heaven. Just kidding, but  I was praying for help, barely putting one foot in front of the other when right in front of me on my rocky path was a stick. Not just any stick. It was perfectly straight. It was the perfect height. One end was slightly pointy and the other was flatter and had some bark that I easily peeled off to make it smooth to the touch. I now had a walking stick. 

Nothing changed really, I was still walking straight up a mountain, but now I had a stick for support, a stick to help me pull myself up the steep path, I had a grounding point when stumbling back down the mountain as the stones gave way under my feet. That stick did its job. It got me through that hike. A hike that, as anyone who has come back down a mountain can attest, only got harder towards the end.) I almost stumbled many times as we headed down steep inclines with lots of rocks moving under feet, but my stick kept me stable. 

The Lord has us all on a long road here, and it is not His will to end it just yet, the situation has not changed (in fact, one could argue it will get worse….my hike definitely did!)  but He is faithful. Faithful to send help. His Spirit continually blesses us with just enough help to finish this race we are on. So keep on. He will bear fruit that will last in us. 

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me, Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-6