As I draw closer to my book release date ( OCTOBER 10th!!! HAVE YOU JOINED THE EVENT YET?! You’re going to want that reminder notice!) I’ve been reminiscing about the last 5 years (!!) writing this book…
One of the big helpers, when writing my book, was music and I wanted to share a few of my “musical moments” with you!
First of all, music helped me tremendously to drown out all the noise around me ( aka my children) when I was concentrating on writing. Having music over the top of the other noise somehow canceled it all out and I was able to immerse myself in what I need to say. This was maaaaaybe a little dangerous, as my family can tell you- a tornado could happen in the next room and I might not notice- but we all lived and there is a book because of it! Hooray!
But a few times songs actually helped me write. They gave me actual inspiration.
The first was the song was Held, by Natalie Grant. When I had to finally sit down and write about the hardest and rawest days of our experience with twin to twin transfusion, this song was on repeat. I mean, obviously, the lyrics of the song fit so perfectly with parts of our story. But more importantly, they were such a beautiful example of being able to talk about something so sad and yet have it all wrapped up in Hope. Natalie Grant’s song did that so beautifully. I wanted my book to be that too. Even in the hardest of chapters, I did not want my readers to be in the depths of despair as they read. I wanted, with all my heart, for them to feel the hope that had carried us through that season. THAT was what I wanted to have felt through the pages of my book. I seriously had this song on repeat as I tried to channel that hope into my writing.
“This is what it is to be Held. This is how it feels to have the sacred torn from your life and you survive. This is what it is to be loved.
The next song can only be described as a small miracle. As I just mentioned I was often struggling with writing about parts of our story that held the most emotion and the most weight. But usually, while I had to go through some of the emotions again, I knew clearly the “Hope” that I needed to portray through the sadness and that made it easier-even therapeutic. All I had to do was write it down. BUT…there was this One Night.
There was one night that I had not felt God’s presence. No matter how hard I had tried, how much I had begged, I had not felt Him. That One Night had ended in a miracle, maybe one of the greatest miracles of our story-but because of the feelings I had felt of betrayal and aloneness during it I didn’t know how to write about it! I kept going over it in my mind, I was still sort of mad at God! Sure, it had all “turned out” but where was He then?!?!
So, being the procrastinator that I am, I just put it off, I put off writing about this One Night for a whole year. Now I had an even bigger problem to deal with, could I even remember the One Night well enough to write about it? Much less write it with the intent I wanted for it? I was getting desperate! So I begged God to help me write it ( something I did a lot). It just so happened to be a Sunday morning and we were attending a local church at the time. And when we arrived at church and the worship started this song When you walk into the Room, by Jesus Culture began….
When You walk into the room, everything changes, darkness starts to tremble at the light that you bring.
And I’m not even kidding, with those words “When You walk into a room…” I had the closest I’ve ever had to an out of body experience. I was taken back to that day ( the day before the One Night) and I remembered details I had forgotten, little things, but they were so important! As I saw them again in my mind’s eye, I saw them all in a whole new way. This time I saw Jesus. He showed me where He was. He showed me EXACTLY where I had actually been during that One Night when I hadn’t felt Him. I was obviously bawling my eyes out at this point and I, hate to say it, I heard nothing of the sermon that day, but the hardest chapter for me to write was written in about twenty minutes. I’m probably the proudest of it. I can HARDLY WAIT for you to get your hands on my book, but until listen to these two songs!