This morning I woke up after a night of little to no sleep.- Justice had been vomiting every meal and also lost his IV which meant a 2am scream fest as he got a new line put in.
This dawn was dark by all accounts. Justice continues to spit up all feedings- feedings that are smaller than they should be already- we’ve been told over and over that his reflux is “horrible” and “severe” and “the worst we’ve ever seen”. And a g-tube and fundoplication surgery are discussed as foregone conclusions of our future here.
But doctors do not know everything. They are not factoring in the fact that we have a Lord who is the Great Healer and that HE can do anything. I know that we have very little time left before we will be pressured both by Justice’s continued deterioration and our doctors- but I believe that today is a special day. Today is the turning point. I woke with back to back phone calls offering laying on of hands and prayer and we had a visit from another pastor-Unlooked for- but welcomed: offering more prayers and laying on of hands. I know this is not an accident. Today, despite our circumstances, we will boldly ask the Lord for complete healing for Justice ‘s “horribly severe” reflux. We ask for a renewed hunger and interest in eating for Justice. We ask that he will require no g-tube, no surgery and will quickly be eating and keeping all food down on his own. I ask for weight gain. And I ask for all these things now, when such possibilities seem next to impossible for then there will be no doubt that Jesus Christ is our Healer and Provider.
It is an honor, a terrible one, to be put yet again at the great mercy of our Lord in regards to our children. It is by far the most painful thing we have ever had to do. And the words on my mouth today are “Lord, if you are willing…”