dusty

So, friends, I’m dusting off the ol’ blog today after a truly awful day. I know, probably the worst way to blog. Nobody wants to read downer posts and I so hate the social media trend of using facebook and posts to just rant and vent…so I will not mention my day. I mentioned it on facebook instead. HA!

Instead, I’ll take this time I usually get to spend with my husband ( the after the kids go to bed time) that is now my “alone” time since he’s started night shifts for the forseeable future to write this post. I’ve had a lot floating around that I wanted to post but I was either lazy or busy and it didn’t happen..usually a combo of both 😉

So instead of a nice, well written post, here are some barely coherent thoughts:

I heard this Kutless song on the radio the other day and its kind of stuck with me:

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One of the things I’m learning from writing out the girls story all at once, is that I crave feedback. Almost every time I sit down to write I end up wanting to send it to someone to read. Apparently I have been blogging too long and now I want to not only get things off my chest, but I also want validation from another person. Uh-oh. I feel like Greg Kinnear’s character in You’ve Got Mail who’s always wanting people to read his work out loud or asking for feedback. So, anyway, other than a friend of mine who’s a pretty awesome editor, I havent sent it out to anyone and I don’t think even Brett has read it. So this is good. Growth.

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Brett and I have been following a pretty close budget the last two months thanks to an iphone app toshl finance. It has cutesy  little monster animation to try to distract you from the fact that you’re spending tons of money. It feeds my OCD nature and I looove looking at my little money chart. That being said I already went over my “spending money” budget for the month because I had to buy some summer clothes that fit ( thanks extra 30 pounds pregnancy!! Way to over stay your welcome!!! )….and then as awful luck would have it, I found this purse that I really really wanted:

Its a gorgeous Tailor and Stylist bag.
It has now become clear that I just might be the one that spends money not Brett spending it on coffee. ( to be far, he DOES spend lots of money on coffee…coffee just doesnt cost $50 a pop. sigh) 
Anyway. 
Since my current purse double as a diaper bag, its just as well that I can’t buy this one…but someone else should buy it because look how cute it is!! Don’t let this go to waste!

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Last week I watched Good Will Hunting on Netflix because I was in the mood. Did you realize that movie is like 15 years old?!?! I’m not even kidding. I remember when Matt and Ben won the Oscar for best screen play like it was yesterday. Wow.

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So, Tabitha is 4 months old and she has yet to laugh. She has learned to screech with glee, on the other hand. So, yeah, not sure what to think about that. I’m wondering if I’m just not very funny (?)

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I have officially entered the period of time that happens every time I move ( or in the case of Georgia when all my friends moved away all at once.) where I feel incredibly lonely and I think that I will never ever have any friends ever again. This time, however, I had the added bonus of also having two kids…one of whom I’d ALSO like to have friends and the other who I’d like to have friends one day when she starts to laugh at things. I had no idea having kids was going to add this heartbreaking element. Or maybe I did know and I just blocked it out, or I thought it wouldn’t come so soon. Watching Ransom at the park watching other kids play literally BROKE MY HEART the other day. Nevermind that he’s always been more comfortable watching in big groups. It just reinforced in my mind that I really miss his little friends: Emmy, Elizabeth, Kilsyth…dude. He needs some boy friends.

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4 thoughts on “dusty

  1. We're not moving until November, but I'm already thinking about it, and I appreciate your reminder that although I'm going to feel like I'll never make friends again (because like you said, that happens literally every time we move), I will make friends. And you will too! :o) And so will Ransom and Tabitha.

  2. Now I'm not much a writer, but I love random posts. So thanks for keeping it real! And I completely agree and understand about wanting friends for your kids. It also breaks my heart when Esther looks longingly at other kids and or is just awkward around them because she doesn't know how to act around them. We will pray for friends for you guys and would appreciate it if you'd pray for us for the same thing!

  3. I'm glad you post when you can. Writing is cathartic and especially helpful when you feel lonely. Might I suggest looking for a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group? There are quite a few in your area, you can contact them and see what summer playdates they have planned to meet some new friends for you and the kids. http://www.mops.org I'm down in South Texas or I would say come meet up with some of us mamas, but that's a 5 hour drive. 🙂

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