Last year Brett got offered a job in Germany. And I was annoyed. Like, dude. You just go and apply for a job in Germany and you don’t even discuss it with your wife?!
Of course, to his credit (supposedly) he didn’t think he would get it. So he turned down the offer and we went on with our lives… The life we’ve had for nine years here in San Antonio. Nine years.
There was a time in my life when I literally begged God just to let us live in one place for longer than a year. And now we’ve lived in one place for almost a decade! Crazy! But also wonderful. We’ve had a beautiful, stable life for our three children- All of whom pretty much only remember living here in San Antonio. In fact, Justice has only lived in one house his whole 6 years of life. I love that for them mostly because I’m a homebody. Even when we’d live in a place for just one year, I’d put down roots almost as fast as I’d hang photos on the wall. I’d make lifelong friends almost as quickly and anyone who knows me, knows I don’t let go easily.
So when Brett announced he was applying for another job in Germany “just in case” it was actually something we were supposed to do, I rolled my eyes and told him “Happy Birthday” (because it just so happened to be his birthday and I was being extra supportive). I wasn’t too worried. He told me all about this second job, it was quite the promotion! It was quite the opportunity. He assured me he probably wouldn’t even get to the interview stage…..
*Cut to the future* You ALL know where this story is going, right? Like none of us are really actually surprised that he got an interview, are we?! But I was getting a bit flustered! Had Brett seen our lives? Our kids were in an awesome school! We had a great house! We had amazing friends! We had a house church that was literally bursting at the seams! WHY WOULD WE MESS WITH THAT?!?
Yet, Brett got the interview. And then he came home the day after the interview and the Germany higher-ups had contacted all his bosses. Everyone was feeling confident and excited. Everyone but me.
The next day I read about Jonathan and his armor-bearer going over to fight the Philistines. You can read all about it in 1 Samuel 14. Essentially, the Philistines and Israelites are all settled in and geared up for battle, each in their own camp. And Jonathan says to his armor-bearer. “Let’s go over to the Philistine camp and if they say, “Hey come over here!” We’ll go over and the Lord will be with us.” so that’s exactly what happens. The Philistines say “come over!” and Jonathan and his armor-bearer take courage and go over and kill a whole bunch of Philistines single-handedly.
I knew immediately that God was telling me that if the Germany job said “come on over” than I would need to take courage and go (because the Lord was with us.)
So that very day I started struggling in my heart, praying almost constantly about all the things that such a move would mean…. Starting over in so so many ways.
It took about two weeks give or take, before I finally reached the final sticking point-my kids school. Oh how we love it! I’ve talked about it on this blog! As in, recently I talked about it! Gah! I just couldn’t let go! It would just be silly to give up such an amazing school once you have it, right? (you don’t just get into this school- it’s by lottery! And it was miraculous that both Ransom and Tabitha got in their first year!)
But, almost as soon as I had the thought, I was reminded that the school was not mine, I mean, who was the one who’d gotten us in, in the first place?! I had to confess to the Lord my sin of holding onto a gift that He’d given to me as though I deserved it or that it was forever. I also had to confess my lack of faith and my desire to control. Whew. My desire to control is seriously such a sneaky little sin!!
Anyway, last week on Wednesday night I was thinking about it all in the shower and I finally said to God, “Ok. I’m ready. I will go if Brett gets the offer. But it would be really cool if you just postpone the offer a few weeks! That’ll just give me a little more time.”
We found out the next day.
We’re moving to Germany for 3 years. Wish us luck.