The last few weeks have been weird for me. I got this blog back and was able to, once again, put blog posts into the world. It was also just so happened to be when we kicked off the next step in our Into The Harvest plans and started recording Podcast episodes. Added to that I had a speaking engagement related to my book The Day Between and was spending a goodly amount of time preparing for that. All of that compounded a bit and by the time it was all said and done, I feel that our first episode of the podcast “If I Knew Then What I Know Now” was in some ways speaking into my own current season. ( Turns out I’m a slow learner) I really, really hate to do things halfway, I also have odd perfectionist tendencies that show up at the worst of times…
I immediately obsessed on ways our podcast could be better… I was a little disappointed that only 6 ladies showed up to the MOPS meeting I was speaking at- not really for numbers sake necessarily-but more because it feels WAY awkward to stand up and speak to small group of people- I was frustrated retrospectively that I didn’t just roll with it and make it more of a discussion time or a more casual circle time.
I wondered why I had put so much time and energy into something only to have a few people get to hear it. I wondered about book sales and whether all that time and energy has been “worth it”….but its when these thoughts start to trickle in that I must remember what it means to offer things to the Lord.
I love the picture of the “drink offering” in the Bible because of the picture it gives us- it can’t be scooped back up again. It can’t be re-used by the priests. It is literally poured out. Imagine pouring water onto the ground….is that water useful for your own drinking anymore? Not really!
In the same way, it is not for me to decide later if my “offering” to the Lord was “worth it”- it is not for me to worry if it was fruitful or useful. It is pleasing to the Lord because I offered it up.
Maybe this is also important to me because one of my biggest love-languages is Time. I put time into all these projects. Time that really my life hardly affords- but is it really loving on my part if I want something back? If I want results and affirmation? Blah! I can really be the worst!
I must remember that the Lord loves the humblest of offering. The time we spend with just one person. He is the Good Shepherd the one who goes after the one and leaves the 99 behind! These are good reminders for me in a word of numbers and counts and followers and links and downloads. One. It is all worth it for ONE.